Again

So its that time of the year again. Time certainly flies. Certainly a good reason to not have regrets. For all you know your life is over just as fast as a wink. Well this year has certainly been a trying year. Not only for myself but also some of my Trans Girls. It is unbelievable the amount of Pain one has to go through to be oneself. This does not only count for The Trans Family only. I truly hope that it does Get Better for all of you that are struggling like the rest of us. Have A stunning Season and New Year. I will see you in the New Year.

Two

Well for those who know yes. I have two blogs one for General issues. This one for personal issues and thoughts. I had this one up for some time. Then I deleted it for reasons I wont go into needless to say. I started the other to stay anonymous. Then decide to resurrect this one since this is my name. I find that I can express myself more as myself this way. maybe at some time I will merge the two. But for the moment I will the other one going. Even if it does sound like its a case of MPD. (Multi Personality Disorder). As per the other blog I will be going on holiday for two and half weeks. I certainly need a break since this last year has been hectic. Hopefully I will find my way back since I feel a bit lost at the moment. By that I mean I don't feel like myself. Which happens from time to time. I think we just lose sight of priorities.

Choices

Ok we have established that I am Trans and I am back in the closet. This goes without saying. I am not going into the reasons why. Those that know me do and that is enough for me. So what is the dilemma we face. For starters we are not all rich and most of us do not pass for Barbie Doll. So what are our choices do we lose our Jobs, Family and Friends to Transition. Or do we stick it out. I suppose each persons situation is different but ultimately we all face the same choices. At what cost are we willing to ourselves are we prepared to accept for the chance to transition. These questions are meant to be taken seriously. For the bell cannot be unrung. My Therapist posed this question to me once. Which would I choose Food or Hormones?

Stunning

So  am reading this book at the moment. "Surface Details" by Ian M. Banks. Which is Sci Fi. They often say that Sci Fi is the predictor of the future. Never the less it is presupposed that in the story that they have an ability to put in a Neural lace which can capture your soul in its entirety when you expire. The if you so wish you can be placed in a body that you can design from scratch and stay in reality or move on to a virtual reality. With all that said can you even begin to imagine the implications of being able to design your own body even choose your own sex. My mind Boggles. Just the freedom to be able to express yourself in what ever way you see fit. It makes my heart ache with longing for such an ability.

Bent

So at this moment I am listening to Bent "Programmed to Love". Which is stunning. Need less to say I have a very wide taste when it comes to music. So I am not stuck in one genre. I was thinking about my trip to the gym the other day. Seriously its a laugh. Since you have these people strutting around like peacocks. I simply go to retain muscle mass. Others are obviously a bit vain. But then it take all types to make the world. Well here's to diversity. Thank goodness otherwise it would be really boring. But still its really entertaining. Lol.

Because

So I am doing this because its therapy for me and I need an outlet being stuck in the closet. Besides going to Therapy, this helps me get things out. I am not going to get too personal. So most of this will really be musings, rants and thoughts. Its almost the end of the year. Well not really because it really is just another day that being New year. We just like to Con ourselves that we can start a fresh for a New year. its not like you see the animals celebrating the new year. For them it is just another day in the tedium that is life. So we are unique in that we need to make a distinction between one and the next. Go figure.

So

So for all those that know me its been a real tough year. Needless to say that life goes on with or without you. I am not going to get into my Story. All I am going to say is that I am back in the Closet. certainly Traumatic. Its really strange the road our lives take. Nobody could ever predict what it is that happens to them. We haven't the slightest of Ideas.

Im Back

This will be under Construction for awhile. Just to say I'm Back. Back for Good.Had to take a forced Hiatus.