Back

So everything is back to normal. I feel normal after all that. That which I described already. So I am thankful for that.

Off Meds

I was  off my Meds for three days not on purpose. But simply my Appointment I made was to be coinciding with My appointment with my Therapist  Since they are both so far away. I did not want to have to go twice to see only  one of them at a time. I know it sounds a bit convoluted but anyway. I was of from Sunday and only took again on Tuesday when I got back. So that really messed me up and could very well be the cause of me not sleeping very well. I really did feel out of sorts when I went to see both of them I did not tell my Doctor that I was off for a couple of days. Even though I was asked. Well anyway I felt much better after having taken them and I had something to eat  a little while after that. My stomach was also a bit upset. Yes it made my tummy upset as well. So if your on antidepressants it is not a good idea to go off them cols turkey. You need to be weaned off them slowly. Well it also depends on the dosage your taking as well. I am not a Psychiatrist so I can not say what needs to happen. I do however know that quite a few T Girls are on some or other form of Meds. So there you have the background of the last three days of being off My Meds. Lesson to be learnt here as previously stated is don't go off your Meds in one go. It has to be done gradually with the supervision of a Doctor. Lol I know everyone always uses that as a Disclaimer but I am serious.

Some How

I am slowly amalgamating with the Trans side of me. This Probably does not make sense but My personas are kinda taking a back Seat. I just have to make sure that none of the Feminine gestures etc come out. Its more like that I have taken the stance that for the Moment I have taken On An Androgynous mind Set. Making it easier to cope with the being in The Closet.plus getting used to the Meds has taken awhile. Still getting used to them and trying to recoup all that I lost going on these Meds. Believe it really does change you. I would not be able to describe the total extent as to how. Yet I will say that it does even you Out. So your not too much on one side but in the Middle. For Instance your not Depressed as much as you were but at the same time your not Happy. Your stuck in the Middle between the two emotions or States. So it takes getting used to. That's why I said I have try and Recoup that which I have lost of Myself. If this does not make too much sense. Then I am Sorry for this really is no other way I can Explain it. It really needs to be experienced.

Meds

Saw the Doctor again today. My Meds were increased just two weeks. Well lets see if it makes any difference.

Struggle

I am really struggling with what the Meds have done to me. Its like its changed me. I am no longer the same any more. Even posting on this Blog is taking a lot of effort. Not that concerns anyone. Ok I am feeling a little make that a lot different. Just wish I could get back to what I was.

Forward

I had my  Meds changed since the last lot were really not working out for me. lets see how things progress going Forward.

Lets See

So I am feeling a bit better for the moment. lets see how long it lasts. This chemical thing is kinda fascinating. Since if you think of it besides energy we are composed of Chemicals. The slightest change can bring on effects. Like taking hormones you begin to grow breasts your skin becomes softer etc, etc. Its all due to chemicals. Go figure.

Yikes

The last bunch of Meds I was on was a struggle and it seems this new regime is also just as much of a struggle. I hope  we will be able to find a good set that will agree with me and not have so many side effects. Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh

Crave

I recently got put on a new Regime of Meds. Since I started I have noticed a few Changes. It is still early Days. But the most noticeable is that I have or get cravings. Ordinarily I am a Vegetarian. Not that I am hung about it. But out of the Blue I now Crave Ham Burgers. Not just any type Ms Donald's. I am sure they would be  Happy to find Out. Any way I have to satiate it tonight. Cool that I have a bit of tonight to Myself.

Stopped

So I was put on a new Regime of Meds recently. The one a new one. The others were increased. The only thing I think the new one is causing Hassles. So I have decided to stop the new one and see if it makes a difference. If I am still feeling the same then it means it is the increase in the Old Meds if not then its the New One. Fun in the Sun As they would say.

New

So I was given a new Med regime today. With most being upped and a new on added. Well let see how this works. Most of the time we really are just Guinea Pigs.

Yes I Admit

So I admit that I have been really lazy when it comes to my Blog. Whether I have been going through a Funk or not. At he end of this month I am seeing a different Doctor. So maybe they will change my Meds. Then we will see if it makes any difference. Well its really good that I have something to blame for being lazy. Lol. Yeah right. I suppose its a Girl prerogative to be lazy.
You know the more I think about it the more I think That a T Girl is different from the Normal Girl. I am yet to prove it. For the moment i just cant put my finger on it.

Yuppie

So I saw one of my Docs today. I get to up my Meds since I am not a little Girl. So my body needs more to go around. Now your thinking what kinds Girl is she when she says she is big. Now there are all types of Big. Does it really matter what type of Big I am.? Well back to the Meds. So I get to take more to even things out. Not that it really makes a difference how much Meds we take . This ain't no competition. Although some Girls take it quite seriously. As long as I am fine I don't care how many Meds I take whether it be little lots or none at all. So I am going to be getting some extra Girls Vacs coming up which I am excited about. Time to bust out the Gear. lol. I am thinking what shade of Lipstick?

Check Up

So I go the Doctor today to fins out if My Liver is handling all my Meds. This is one thing that Girl can not get past and that is dealing with Doctors on a constant basis. I think that GID must be one of the most expensive Diagnosis's. Since it just never ends. We see a whole barrage of Specialists. If only it could be simple. Either that or I win the Lotto. lol.

Dreams

My Meds are really giving me a run for my money. There is this specific med that  make my Dreams both vivid and real. its better than a soap opera but then when the the dream gets hectic its no longer any fun. For instance last night. I was going through some of my past and the Relations I had with the different members of My family. If you knew anything about my Family you would understand that they are dysfunctional at best. And the past has not been easy. Well I don't think that my situation is much different to allot of Trans girls. For that matter they don't even have to be Trans to have experienced a bum life. You will realise that I never mention specifics because it snot necessary since my situation is not unique. Even though I am Unconventional. I must find out what the term was that was used.