I Admit

Ok I admit to being both a Bibliophile and a Gamer. So I am getting everything ready for my first Girls Vac. "Mass Effect 3" is being released next week. I am playing "Kingdoms of Amalur" at the moment. have to say not that impressed. Fun but no comparison to"Fable". I only play RPG games. Obviously I get to play a Girl which is so cool. Especially when comes to kitting your Avatar. Just think of its a Therapy for those stuck in the Closet. A girl has to have some outlet for her Fantasies. And this one way for me. What is also interesting is that allot of Trans Girls like Gaming and Comics etc. That's why I say I don't think for a large part we are similar to Girls per say. yes there are Trans Girls that want be Girls but I also think that there are some of us who prefer to be known as Trans.

Next Month

I now I keep saying this but I think that in March I will definitely have to make a plan to go see my Therapist. Your probably wondering why its such a big deal. Its just that no one knows that I am seeing him. Its almost feels like I am back at school.

All Of Us

So OK my neck id well on its way to mending itself. Hopefully it remains that way. So anyway there I was working out on my new discovery the bicycle. Which I am happy to say that I haven't fallen off yet. So I am doing my thing and this 40 year Old woman goes and starts rowing. No big deal. Then this guy who was probably between 60 and 70 years goes and starts rowing kinda facing this woman. Now you don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure whats going on anyway. That's not why I brought this up. What really interested me was is he is where she is heading well for that matter all of us. Burt the more interesting part is yes you can see the wear and tear on the woman's body. You don't even have to wonder about the old guy. In all of this we spend so much time trying to look the part that life passes you by Believe me no twenty year old kid is going to wolf whistle when your seventy and walk on by. So where is the balance. lol.

Are You Kidding Me

I have just finished watching a clip on the "Victoria Secret Angels" In my wildest dreams. I can understand why normal  woman have such issues in relation these impossibly beautiful Woman. I suppose in some sense it can be a nightmare for most. To even try to match up to these ridiculously impossible standards.

Yes

So I was caught standing and surveying the stock of panties at a sore not to worry it by someone that knows my situation. Which I have to say is only four people including my Therapist and my Girlfriend Jade. So it was like a deer stuck in the headlight of the on coming Truck. Those colors and the cuts etc it was just too much for me. Most the time you have to sneak a peek. This time it was a full on frontal assault you walk around the corner and there is a whole wall of the dreamiest panties. What is Girl to do. lol. I ember seeing some lingerie in a window at a Mall while walking around it seemed like something out of heaven the color and the lighting that I had to make a plan to go back and have another look. Forget about candy in s tore this was more like a Your Friendly Neighborhood House of "Fun" for a Sex Addict

Yuppie

So I saw one of my Docs today. I get to up my Meds since I am not a little Girl. So my body needs more to go around. Now your thinking what kinds Girl is she when she says she is big. Now there are all types of Big. Does it really matter what type of Big I am.? Well back to the Meds. So I get to take more to even things out. Not that it really makes a difference how much Meds we take . This ain't no competition. Although some Girls take it quite seriously. As long as I am fine I don't care how many Meds I take whether it be little lots or none at all. So I am going to be getting some extra Girls Vacs coming up which I am excited about. Time to bust out the Gear. lol. I am thinking what shade of Lipstick?

Thanks

It is almost as if we live our lives in a bubble. For really at the end of the day what does all the prancing around amount to. Does it really make us better people. I was watching Telly when I saw a well known Celeb for being well known. Hello. Are we so shallow that all we want is to be noticed.I can understand taking pride in the way you look because it does make us feel better. It is an expression of who we are. I suppose so that we stand out as an Individual.But to want to be noticed for that sake of being noticed. Is something entirely different

Seriously

Sometimes I think. Once again this can be be a dangerous past time. What would it take for you to be comfortable in your skin as A Trans Person. We all have our fantasies which involves lots of Plastic Surgery. But since not all of us are That rich. What would you be happy with to be able to feel comfortable in the world around you. Forget about the fact of whether your accepted or not. For ultimately the majority of people consider us to be freaks. So why even bother trying to make them happy. For ultimately you go to sleep by yourself every night.

Why

I saw something yesterday that made me really sad. More to the point is what we are capable of doing to each other in the name of whatever. I am not going to relate the incident for its not necessary since it applies to all the things we do to each other.

So

So i got this message reminding me on Facebook that one of my Trans Sister is having her Bday this week and I mustn't forget to wish her Happy Bday. What Facebook does not know is that I haven't been able to speak to her for a year. For the People around her decided to have cut off all communication with The Trans Community. I to am in a similar situation but I am naughty and do not always do what I am told. Hence this Blog amongst other things. Yet my situation is not as bad as my Sisters situation. So what I do is post messages for her on her Facebook wall in the hope that she will be able to sneak a peak one day and see that she has not been forgotten. My heart goes out to all those that are still in the closet and to those that have very strict Gate Keepers. Well  also to those that live in Countries where its not even heard of to be Trans. It Breaks My Heart.

Ssshheesh

Sometimes don't you just feel like running of into the distance screaming "Run away run away" as you do  it. Surely there has to be a better way of doing this than this way.

Just a Little Bit

Just every now and then things get to you. So for the moment its like that for me.

Thinking

So I was thinking. Which can be dangerous.lol. Anyway I was looking for a Trans Logo I could use on Google and I came across a photo of To Trans Girls in Iran. Which Is awesome dangerous But Awesome. I take my hat off to them. My therapist has said that being Trans in America is one of the most dangerous places. Simply even though there are a few places that are accepting and tolerant the rest are in no ways friendly to Trans People. For ultimately America is very conservative. Anyway back to what I was thinking lets say that the process to Transition was a lot easier than it is now. You would have all the access to all the treatments you could desire. With no question of it costing you anything. Then there was no stigma attached and society was completely accepting no prejudice. How many people would still want to Transition? I think that some times when a certain thing has a aura of mystique or even forbidden fruit. Then it seems more desirable. Just thinking.

Can You Believe

Well I can't so I started the Twitter thing and I have one follower already and I haven't even said anything. Go figure. So my neck is still hurting. More importantly I have some Girls Vacs coming up in the next month which I am so excited about. So I get to try on my new Thongs. We all do what we need to do to maintain our sanity.

Ahhh

So I was coming out the shower toweling myself off and for strange reason I strained a muscle in my neck. I know it sounds crazy. But yeah it happened. So its going to take awhile before I feel a bit better. Stuff happens. Whats a Girl to do?

lol

So I managed to get my new g-strings washed yesterday and stashed them away. Somewhere at least where they cannot be discovered. Well at least I think that its in a good hiding place. I keep remembering a scene form that Anna Faris movie. Which makes me want fall down laughing.

I don't Know

So I was watching this movie called "What's Your Number" which I found to be hysterical, well at least Anna Faris was. Anyway I digress there was this one noodle in the movie which happened to be her Dad in the movie. He was Tweeting all the time which I have to say I found to be a little bit Obnoxious.

Yikes

My dreams of late have been really vivid and I know its because of the Meds. But the topics are too close to home for them just to be the normal dreams. What is worse is that I am literally there in my dreams.

Tweeting

So I ma Blonde yes. its takes me awhile to get up to speed so I ma going to try the tweeting thing in the next week Under my name.

Hee heee

So I go to the Doctor. my results are in but the Doctor is away on Holiday. lol. Now that's too funny. Well at least I think so. So the Doc will only be back next week sometime. For the moment I am thinking about what is it about women that are stunning that we want to be like. Well certainly no one wants to look like a hag. Well that's my impression. Or is it a societal thing. Just as much as

"Chanel creative director/Victorian spinster Karl Lagerfeld went and did it anyway this week, calling out 21 hitmaker Adele in the pages of U.K. Metro. “She is a little too fat,” he wrote, “but she has a beautiful face and a divine voice.”"
By Leah Collins
National Post.com


I personally think she is stunning on so many levels like Beth Ditto for example. Go figure!!!!!!!

Check Up

So I go the Doctor today to fins out if My Liver is handling all my Meds. This is one thing that Girl can not get past and that is dealing with Doctors on a constant basis. I think that GID must be one of the most expensive Diagnosis's. Since it just never ends. We see a whole barrage of Specialists. If only it could be simple. Either that or I win the Lotto. lol.

It Carries On

Well it seems that I am not out of the Wood. In respect to everything going wrong. lol. I suppose that is the best way to react to all these things. I certainly try not take my self too seriously. I have been trying to reach out to this one Girl. It seems that she might come around. its not good to see people that you care for going through a rough patch.

Talking Heads - Stop Making Sense - PsychoKiller

Music

No Not at All

Believe when I say that I am no Angel at all. I don't pretend to be one either. Not that I am a Fiend or Psychopath. I have my naughty tendencies. So withe that in mind don't be such a prude by judging others or what and how they do it or what ever. As long as they not hurting themselves or anyone else for that matter . Then its cool.

Once in Awhile.

Well once in awhile you have those days where everything and everything goes wrong. And its just one thing after the next. Well it still happening. Hopefully it will be over soon. Otherwise I should just stay in bed and not bother to get up. So I was watching a clip of an interview with Sarina Valentina the other day. Know we all know she is a Transsexual Porn Star but still the Girls is a stunner. I think in my next lifetime I want to look like her.I would put her link on my Blog but I will try to keep this PG as much as possible. Even though Amnesia does push the boundaries a bit. |Still love them both.

Aaaahhh

Some can handle change others cant all dependent on how drastic the change is. My Internet connection went bang yesterday. In times like these it just goes to show how reliant we are on technology. What did we ever do when we only had land-lines?

It Happens

I think that if we keep things on the back burner or bottled up or even try to suppress them for long enough. They will manifest in strange ways. Have you noticed that if there is ever a topic that is not confronted then the tension rears its head in different ways. Little thins all of a sudden become an issue. Where it really is not the little things that are an issue. But the Huge White Elephant sitting in the babies chair in the corner. With its one hand raised as a child would do when wanting to get a Teachers attention.

Mmmmm

So I was thinking which is a very rare thing. lol. When does a women lose there sexuality. For Instance if you think of a granny. When did she cease to be looked at as a sexy woman. What is the ttransition and why. Does she just one day become a matronly figure? Is it by choice? Is it something she willingly participates in? Is it forced upon her by society?

Ok

So its done I am back in the closet. I have started going back to Gym. Which is quite a thing especially after the Festive Season. Well we will try get this body back into shape. Not to say that it was in shape to start off. I don't really do it for the same reason that other people do it. Its more to just preserve my body as I get older. So That  I don't end up looking like a stick when I do eventually get old.