Interesting

Here Dan Savage of "It Gets Better Project" is speaking about Anti Bullying. He clearly points that those who want to uphold certain views are just as guilty of Bulling. Which in of itself is A Paradox. Oh Right I am back. lol

"Anti-bullying speaker Dan Savage blasts Christian teens who walked out of lecture after he criticised 'bullsh*t in the Bible'

By DAILY MAIL REPORTER

PUBLISHED: 05:56 GMT, 28 April 2012 | UPDATED: 12:09 GMT, 29 April 2012

Nearly a dozen of high school journalists walked out of a lecture by Dan Savage, the prominent ant-bullying advocate that pioneered the 'It Gets Better' campaign.

His comments about the relationship between anti-gay bullying and the bible sparked a walkout of Christian teens at the National High School Journalist Conference in Seattle. 

Mr Savage called the defectors 'pansy-assed' and would not back down from his comments.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2136502/Dan-Savage-blasts-Christian-teens-walked-lecture-criticised-bullsh-t-Bible.html#ixzz1tXK6U1vB"

Dan Savage discusses bible at High School Journalism convention

At Some Stage

Well I think at some stage I want to get an Epilator. Well I am not able to shave my Body as a whole. But there are certain Sectors that I can get away with. I think that more than being able to Shave. Its more a like just having An Epilator stashed away some where kinda is like that Jeans that you want to wear One Day but you need to Loose weight first. So I will make that one of my Projects. So I will be gone for a couple of days and will most probably be back either Tuesday Or Wednesday next week.

Going Away

So just in case someone out there in the Ether is following this Blog. I will be away from Friday till Tuesday. Then I will be able to post again. So this is just going to be a mini break for me. Have to say that last Night was pretty good.. I have it in my Mind to Sneak out and go Somewhere. but I cant take a Chance at someone Recognizing Me. So for the moment it is just something Floating around the back of my Head.

Working On It

So I did a bit of Retail Therapy today. Got some really awesome T Shirts with a Female skull in the style of the "Day of The Dead". Plus found a really good deal on Red Wine and Vodka. So stocked up on that. For the May Thing. Don't you just love "Raven" in the "Absolut" Ad. Love the Hair.

One Nighter

So I have a One Nighter tonight. Which does not leave me being able to do too much. But it is something at least. I will take what I can get. Although May is going to be quite busy when it comes to Girl Vacs. I am going to have to stock up on My Vodka. June I am going to have to go a Serious Liver Detox. Lol. So I am going to go and do some retail Therapy Today. I almost forgot.I bought some real Fab Black nail Polish awhile ago. Quite expensive for Nail Polish. But I am tired of the Cheap ones they keep Clotting and becoming Lumpy. I know you can use Acetone to loosen it up. But its just not the same after that. So I am looking forward to using that In May. I am not going to bother doing to much in regards to Dolling up Tonight since I just have to take it off again.

Absolut Commercial Shoot

Mmmmm Ok

If you have a Friend that you can tell them just about anything then your Lucky. if not then really you have to become your own Best Friend. If Your in the Closet then you cant afford to tell anyone what is going on because your never sure if the Person is going to Out you. If you have someone that you trust with your Life then you should hold on to them. Ultimately its down to you. But if your hard on yourself or Self Critical then what chance do you have becoming your own Best Friend?

Keep True

I can't emphasize this enough that especially if your in the Closet. You must not loose your self in all the Personas that you have. It is so easy to loose yourself in the Game of Keeping Others at Bay. its in the Effort to keep people of sensing that You are Trans that You Lose yourself. Especially if it means that there is a chance that you will never be able to Come Out. What a Depressing Thought. So stay Strong stay the Course. Don't let them  beat you down. keep True to Yourself.

Again

So I think that i have been bitten by the Shopping Bug. Not that I bought anything today. But in my mind I am thinking of ways I can get back to the mall by Myself and Pick Up the items. Well i am really in two minds about. So I still have to make my Mind up. Decisions, decisions.

Therapy

So here is the Prescription for when your feeling Depressed. Take yourself by the hand and venture off to the nearest Cool Mall. if there is not one near you then go to a Shop where there are a lot of Bright Things. Like Jewelry or Perfumes. Something Uplifting. In Psychological Terms it is known as "Retail Therapy". Not! lol. So I am sure your got it by now what I went to do. I had noticed on the weekend that there was a Sale on Cd's but really Cheap. Plus there were a few Good ones. As well I was passing a Funky Clothes Shop. They had some awesome T Shirts. I also got to try out some new Fragrance. So all in all it was a good Distraction. Not to mention that I get to listen to some Uplifting Music when I got Home. So all in all the Girl is Happy for that.

Common

I cant imagine that anyone that is in the closet does not at some stage become depressed. Or even to the extreme that they are continuously depressed. Then you must understand that depression is not a word to be used lightly. It is not as the Dictionary describes it as another word for sad or glum etc. I suppose its something we have to get used. So you will often hear me saying that I am Depressed. it is almost like a Roller Coaster ride.

So

Well I went to see the Dr. Which I have to say was very informative.Its not very often that You meet a Dr that is on the ball. What I mean is that they know what they are talking about. So if you ever find one hold onto them.

Confusion

Ok lets clear this up "Gender" as defined by "Wikipedia"

"Gender is a range of characteristics used to distinguish between males and females, particularly in the cases of men and women and the masculine and feminine attributes assigned to them. Depending on the context, the discriminating characteristics vary from sex to social role to gender identity"


So when you are born You are assigned a Gender. Depending on the Stuff between your Legs. This has nothing to do with Sexuality at all. So Sexual orientation as defined by "Wikipedai".


"Sexual orientation describes an enduring pattern of attraction—emotional, romantic, sexual, or some combination of these—to the opposite sex, the same sex, both, or neither, and the genders that accompany them. These attractions are generally subsumed under heterosexuality, homosexuality,bisexuality, and asexuality. According to the American Psychological Association, sexual orientation also refers to a person's sense of "personal and social identity based on those attractions, behaviors expressing them, and membership in a community of others who share them."

"Fluidity of sexuality

The American Psychiatric Association (APA) has stated, "some people believe that sexual orientation is innate and fixed; however, sexual orientation develops across a person's lifetime".^[34] The APA also says that "most people experience little or no sense of choice about their sexual orientation".^[35] "[F]or some ["people"] the focus of sexual interest will shift at various points through the life span..."^[36] A community may change over time.^[37] In a joint statement with other major American medical, psychology, educator, and religious organizations, the APA says that "different people realize at different points in their lives that they are heterosexual, gay, lesbian, or bisexual".^[38] A report from the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health states, "For some people, sexual orientation is continuous and fixed throughout their lives. For others, sexual orientation may be fluid and change over time" 

As defined by "Wikipedia"

So you will see that the assigning of a Gender does not qualify which Sexual Orientation you will have. This is why They have the classification of "Gender Identity Disorder" G.I.D. That is why the Trans Person falls into a different category. Its not a Sexuality Disorder. As phrased by those in the "Psychological Field" its a "Gender Disorder." 

So when I was Born they automatically defined me as a Male. Where in actual fact I am not. This still has not defined my Sexuality.

So as I am part of the LGBT community. We do no distinguish between those of  different Sexualities. Because at the End of the Day it does not Matter.

So Please do not get me Wrong.

Just A Bit

I am depressed just a bit. Actually I lie. First off I have to go see this Dr tomorrow which is costing an Arm and a Leg. I don't really want to get into it now just say that is a fight that I have on my Hands at the moment. With a Specific Company. This is in regards to some Meds I am taking that is not recognized as part of a Specific treatment. I am not even Out and I am battling already. If you ever come out be prepared. That is if you want to get on the Path to Transition. For it will involve seeing a lot Of Doctor's and costing a lot. I have to run now. So I just wanted to say one more thing for now. Sexuality is a choice as to who you are attracted to. Gender is who you are. Just because your Trans that does not automatically qualify you as being gay. And vice versa.

Come On

So I went to Gym again. Yeah. Gotta Punish the Body. Well at least look like I am doing something. Please don't think that I am a Gym Bunny. Because that I am defiantly not. Anyway so I decide to go weigh myself again. Yeah I know I am a sucker for Punishment. Anyway Shock and Horror it says that I have picked up Two more since yesterday. So Now I am thinking Either the machine is Whacked or I am doing something wrong. maybe I should stop exercising to loose weight. lol

Don't

Just as in every culture, sub culture call it what you will. There will always be badges of Honor. Milestones if you will. The Trans community is no different. You have In the Closet, |The Out of the Closet, Those on Hormones, Pre Op and Post Op. Then there are varying degrees in between. So each of these are Niches or Cliques. Which really is silly. Its like Alcoholics getting around comparing Notes. I can Drink 4 Bottles and Walk straight. That's nothing I can Drink 5 Bottles of Vodka and stand on my Head. Who really cares not Me. Don't let anyone take away from your experience no matter where you are on the Road. There is no Wait until this or that happens. Try Savor the moment no matter where you are on the path. Its like if you keep forestalling your happiness waiting for a specific Event to happen. By the time you get there it will be an Anti Climax. I will only be happy if I'm on Hormones. I will only be happy when I am Full Time etc, etc. That is Krud with a capital K.

Physical Markers Of Transsexuality

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh

So I have been a relatively good Girl. (Even though between me. you and the lamppost, I do love my Pizza.) I try go at least three times a week to the Gym. If I can five times. So anyway lately it has been about three times a week. So I was there today and I saw this Scale in the Change rooms. So I thinks to myself lets go weigh the Girl and see whats up. So anyway i can cope with being the same weight maybe having lost One Or Two would be |Cool. So i jump on waiting for the numbers to settle down. Its one of these electronic ones. So once the numbers settle I am no I want to see the manager this scale has to be malfunctioning. I demand an answer. No I am kidding, I did not do that but None the Less my Weight had gone up by Four. Are you kidding me In which Universe is this Possible. So Obviously I am not that ecstatic. Damn that Scale.

Shame

Feeling just a bit Blue from yesterday. Which is to be expected. Life goes on so its back to expressing myself in  small unnoticeable ways. You have to otherwise it will drive you insane. Oh yes I see my Therapist on the Sly. The only people who know is my Therapist and a Girlfriend. So even that is done in secret. Unfortunately I cant see the Therapist that often. So I have to wait for a chance to see the Therapist. Th e next time will probably be in May and that will only have been the second time this year. Fortunately My Therapist specializes in GID. Which I think is essential since we are dealing with a whole lot of issues. Which require specific Knowledge that an Ordinary Therapist would not know. So I at least have that.

I Tried

I tied. I really did but I failed. I mean the whole piercing thing. So I almost pulled it off. Everything went according to Plan. Except it was just a moment when I thought I was going to get away with it. You could see the wheels in motion and then all of a sudden it went into reverse. It was so close. But you could see the light go on. Like all of a sudden it became clear what I was trying to do. So I had to back off which was a bit of a blow. but still nothing ventured nothing gained. Sorry Girls but I did try my hardest. We just cant win all the battles.

Again

Well first off I have discovered that I am going to be having two Three Night Girls Vac this next month. Which has left me excited. Unfortunately there is always the Blue period after that. Because of having to go back to Reality. As to how much longer I can continue this YoYo existence time will only tell. For it takes allot out of a Girl. Still working on how I am going to justify a piercing. I really just want to get my Belly Button pierced. Which they are going to say is a Girls thing. So I was thinking if I gave them a choice. So I want to get either my Eyebrow, Nose, Lip or Belly Button pierced. So the thinking behind this they wouldn't want me to be running around in Public with the Piercing in the open. So the next best thing is the Belly Button. Because No One gets to see it. They call it reverse Psychology. Whether it works is another thing. Hopefully they don't see through the ruse. The other thing is to find the right time to do it. Timing in these matters is important you don't want it blowing up in your face and becoming a whole big Thing.

Mmmmm

Well this next Month I will have a few One Night Girls Vacs. Which really aren't that great since I can't really get into it. I will have to come up with other ways for me to let myself Out without drawing attention. It really is about coming as close as you can to being you. Without drawing too much attention. Since being Outed is not an Option. Well you have to take what you can get. Oh Yes before I forget Passed the 100 Post Mark. There will be a Party at your Local Disco, start without me. lol

Feeling Yourself

Now I can see where some of your Minds automatically go. lol. No its not talking about it literally. My Therapist and I were having this discussion about how some people are able to feel there sexuality and are able to express it. This really has nothing to do with the way you Look. For example I gave the example of some Hot Little Body that drags around like she lives in the gutter on the street. Even though she has a fantastic Body. She is just not feeling Herself. then you have a Plus size lady that just oozes Sexuality. Now I knowing your thinking Yeah. Now as Fate would have it. I went to a Mall after seeing My Therapist. The first thing I saw was this Blonde Chick dragging her heals and Chewing on something like nobody was looking. It was a tragic sight. Then when standing in the Queue there was this Plus Size Lady. Bronze, tight fitting skirt and I mean tight and this top. Now when she adjusted her Skirt you could see it was like she was making Love with her Body. She was just oozing Sexuality. So Go Figure. You either have it or you just aren't feeling it.

How Long?

How Long do we have to wait before we can start living? Why are we always putting things off till another time? Do we realize that if we don't wake up soon we will be Old and Grey and then it will be too late? believe when I say that life goes quickly. The last thing you want to have is Regrets when your Old. By then it will be too late. Obviously Calculated risks are what you want to take. Don't just do things Blindly. However if your in A relationship or Relationships then you have others to Consider. We are talking about Husbands, Wives, Lovers etc. Not Family members. If your Single thank the heavens above since that will make things allot easier. It really is your Life.

So I Am

Believe me when I say that I am no Angel. Yes I can be Naughty. As long as nobody is getting Hurt. I am really not here to impress anyone or keep up to their standards of what is acceptable or not acceptable. Especially when it comes to aspects of Culture etc. Obviously I cant do it overtly since I am in the Closet. But none the less. I have realized long time ago Life is too short for you to worry what others think of you. Believe me they wont visit you in Hospital they wont bail you out if your in Jail. They wont give you Money at the end of the Month if you don't have enough. The most they will do is Gossip about you and Criticize you behind your back. If they are brave enough they will do it your Face but more often that Not they wont. If your culture is repressive for what ever reason there are subtle ways of doing this. You still have to value your life. No point I trowing your Life away trying to persuade People that are firmly Entrenched in their ways of thinking. I think you would have more luck persuading a Bull that it was a Chicken than changing their Minds. lol

I Know

I was just so mentally exhausted yesterday that I had nothing to post. The previous day I had gone to an event. I normally stick with the Females. But for some strange reason I decide to go show the males up at their own Game. That is being Macho etc. It was more like well you see it doesn't take a rocket Scientist to act all Male.
its what we call putting on a Persona to fool People into thinking your a Normal male. Now ordinarily I just keep quite and say a few things with the Females and pop in to the Male section just so they don't think I am A Fruit. Which they probably think anyway since I don't really fit in with them. Well I Rocked it and felt quite proud of myself at the end of the do. But it left me mentally Exhausted. Since I really hate doing that. So I probably wont do that ever again. Since I proved my Point to Myself.

I Dont Know

I am toying with the idea of whether I should pierce my Eye Brow, Belly or Nose. What is more important is that I would have to motivate it. Which is the more difficult aspect of the plot. So it will have to approached Tactfully.

Come On

So I decided to do a search for Trans Blogs. Well lets say there is no lack when it comes to Trans Blogs. You would think that every second person is Trans. There are even Directories of Trans Blogs. So what makes mine any different from the rest "Nothing". Does it upset me "No". Why because this really is for myself and I am not in competition with anyone else. Neither will you see any adverts on my Blog. So I am not in it for the Money. As I have stated before this is an outlet for me and is part of My Therapy. This is not to become popular or even well known  for that matter.

Strange

Nothing is as it seems. In speaking to someone recently. I am of the persuasion that there is more to life than what we think. Surely working, sleeping, eating etc. Cant be the only reason we are on this Mud Ball. No I am not going to get all Spiritual on you. Its almost as if we spend our lives trying to get back to what should have been from the start. By this I mean that had we had a person in our lives or persons that could have guided us correctly. We would be living the Life we had always desired. So some of us wake up late. Then spend the time that is left to us trying to Resurrect that which should have been from the start. Hopefully this is making Sense. Well it makes Sense to me lol. Call it the "Journey Home" if you want to. Some are able to find the way early in Life. Which is great for them.

Burst Bubble

Too often do we set ourselves up for failure. Well that counts for those of us that are necessarily detached from reality. Now your thinking the Girl has lost the Plot. For starters there are of us that don't relate to the body that we are in. That in of itself is a reality. There are extremes of this. But non the less it is a valid observation. Well back to not identifying with Reality. Reality is neither Cruel or Kind it just is. Unfortunately it has been created by a Close Minded majority. Which has always been the case. So the perception we have of ourselves in our minds eye when it meets this Stark Reality is always in for a rude shock. Then remember I am speaking for those of us who do not look Like Ana Mancini. Have to say I love the Girl. This is no slight. I would give my Left Arm to look like her.maybe one day we will be able to mold ourselves to to look like the way we identify ourselves in our mind. Well at least a cost effective form of Plastic Surgery. Well, that is probably in the distant future.

Weight

So i weighed myself at gym yesterday. Now the trick is to see if all this exercising is paying off. I am not a fitness freak. But I do realize that we have only one body and it has too last us until we are Old and Grey. So getting it into a bit of shape wont do anyone any harm. Plus it does marvels fro the self esteem. Well that's once your in Shape. Which I have a long way to go.

How Much

Just how much do we allow others Perceptions control how we move in the world. Do we really care whether the person next door to us thinks we are a fruit. Do they come visit you when your in Hospital? Do they bail you out when you need money? Well? besides being Civil. Do you think they lay at night worrying about you and whether your going to be OK? So why should we care. Life is too short.

Vivid

My dreams last night were particularly Vivid. I know it was the Meds. But not his Vivid. Where you actually feel that you are there and able to respond in the way that you want to. How the Time flies! Interesting times. e had the first Trans Sexual on "Dancing with the Stars". Now we have the first TGirl entered as Girl into a Beauty Pageant. Now if I can only win the Lotto. So that I can make some Plastic Surgeon very Happy. Well a girl still has to dream. Even if time is flying by.