Dreams

So So

So the T girl that got let go is doing ok emotionally and now needs to start from scratch looking for a job. Got to tell you some people just don't get it. Her ex Boss is a real piece of work.

Channels

Another Collaborative Channel imploded. Well to large degree a lot of their stuff was deleted by one of their ex members. Which is so sad. Fortunately the remaining members are going to take a break and put the whole thing back together. It's so sad when people become sad and destroy that which took so long to put together. Well at least we will see what they can put together in a month. Which I have to say is quite a long time. Well here's hoping.

More

I will however say that I had some really interesting dreams last night and they flowed together instead of me waking up after each one.

Numb

I am just a little bit Numb today. Ok make that a little bit more than just a little bit. Some things have jst got to me and it will be awhile before I can process them. I think at best we can only take so much before either imploding or simply just shutting down. I normally just Shutdown. There is just so much that the Meds can do the rest i have to handle myself. It's amazing but we are essentially alone and have to deal with whatever by Ourselves, Nobody can feel for you or go through things for you. Well that's an obvious. The interesting thing is that for me it always happens in three's. That is things that go wrong.

Anna Karenina

A................

I am just watching this Vlog Of a T Girl who was given a job about a week ago and was very happy. They did not know she is Trans. Unfortunately her Current Manager met with one of her ex Managers. Well this is what she thinks is that her ex boss outed her since she was still a man when working for him. What really gets me is that her current Boss Phoned her and let her go on the phone. Not even in person which is so wrong. You just don't do that to people. This exactly the type of thing that happens to Trans People and it is simply because they are Trans. Nothing more nothing less.

Pony Tails

So I have a certain fixation at the moment and that is for a High Pony Tails every time I see someone with a pony Tail. I am like I want that it just looks so cool. i see a lot of them at the Gym. Girls running around with Pony Tails. I am so jealous really though.

I Did

I was wenting to Gym today. Which I have to say was not that bad today so much so I might be thinking of going again tomorrow. Well maybe we will see how it goes. Lol. See how quickly I changed it there.

Anna Karenina

So I watched the latest Anna Karinina last night the one with Jude Law and Keira Knightley. I actually wanted to read the book but I think the Movie has ruined that for me now. Well because I know the plot now. I prefer to read the book first before seeing the Movie. Anyway what a sad story. Up until now I had no clue as to what the book was about. I just knew that it was written Leo Tolstoy. So damn. Anyway what a really really sad story. Still the movie is good it takes you awhile to get used to the style it was done in yet still a good Movie.

Books

Ring

So I am still wearing my thumb ring and I have had the two scores where I saved a lot of money and nothing like that happened to me when I had it off for two weeks. So go figure.

Score

So once again I was running around at another Mall. I went specifically to this Book Store. There was a book there that I needed to get for two reasons. One I need it for its the next book in the series and I have the one before it. Secondly the book was a real good deal. While I was there by complete accident I found another book which completes another series I have at a very good price. So ultimately I got three brand new books for the price of one and two of them I needed. The third I just got because it was a stand alone book and not part of a series. So another day and a real good score and a save on money.

Nope

So I did not get a response from Best treadmills and I was expecting to get one from Best movies as well. Well what can you do. I am not as popular as I thought I was. Lol. At least I got a comment from a Computer. Too funny I have to say.

Movies

Movies

I think I will now be getting a response from some one called Best movies. Lol. I would not be surprised at all. Stranger things have happened on the Internet.

The Words

So I was watching the movie "The Words" last night. It was a good movie. Its not often you come across a good Movie. It's about an author and that's as much as I am prepared to say about it. Lol. You will have to watch the Movie yourself.

Running Around

I was running around at the Malls and was looking at a pair of skinny pants in the shop I normally go to for clothes. I don't go for buying really expensive clothes since I think it's a waste of Money. What you pay for a pair of pants I can get three. Anyway this pair of pants was for Sale and it was my size which was cool so it was about 20% off the original price so went to pay for it and they told me there was a further reduction in price. So after all the price reductions I ended up paying 90% off from the original price which blew me away. So it was a really good Score. So I really paid next to nothing for a brand new pair of pants. I mean have you ever heard of that. That really made my day.

Best treadmills

You are really going to have to Forgive me. I am Blonde and I don't know if your comment was a computer response or you are actually a person called Best treadmills. If you are a person then I will have to say that I am into low impact and don't go in for the Torture yourself to death routine. I am not looking to be chiseled I simply want to look normal. So not every movement ripples a muscle in my body type look. |If you are a Computer then I would not know how to respond to you. So either way that's the best I can do. If you are a person then thanks for the response.

Aaaaaaahhhhhh

Body Types

So while I was at the Gym I was looking at the different Body Types that is of Women. The same would count for Men I suppose but I'm not interested in that now. Anyway I was just thinking about doing the best with what you got so some more Blessed than others. Some are not. I think there are more of the ones that are not than the ones who are. Then that goes with saying then that it's the same for T Girls not everyone is blessed with the looks or body shape that translates that well into a Women Body Shape and face. I know that I am stating the obvious here, but I am really trying to wrap my head around the people who can't pass and don't have the money to do Plastic Surgery. That must really suck.

Treadmill

I survived my trip to the Gym. Everything except the Treadmill was fine. The Treadmill killed me which it normally does but today was not good. I was like come on finish.  I was counting the minutes down and it seemed just to take for ever. I actually had to sit down for a couple minutes just to recuperate before I went onto the next exercise. Yikes. I have to say that the Treadmill is not my favorite form of exercise.
Best treadmills My response is under Best treadmills dated Saturday April 27th.

I Force Myself

So I am Forcing My Lazy ass to go to Gym today. it was almost one of those I really don't want to go days. Which I have been having quite a lot lately. I don't know what it is lately I just don't feel like going. It might just be the repetition the same humdrum things over and over again. Then again it could just come the fact that at the moment I am just bloody Lazy. So anyway I am going to drag my Lazy Ass off to Gym shortly.

Cabaret

Almost

It's almost impossible for me to Imagine sometimes that I am actually doing a Blog on Blogger. Not it's in too much detail. I certainly could fill quite a lot more than I do. That is postings. Sometimes it does play the role of entertainment for me especially when I am posting and watching Vlogs at the same time. The rest is the therapy side but it still is Generic and does not even begin to touch on all that I go through. I really have a need for it to be anonymous as much as possible so that there is never a chance I am Outed. The worst time is on the weekend when I run the risk since people are not working. So sometimes if it seems short it's more for the fact that there are People around which makes it Hairy.
 I do feel a bit Sad I can't pour even more out but I have to do with what I have. My Life certainly is not the same as most People. Actually quite different, make that a lot different. Not that  it makes me special or anything. I can't foresee it ever changing. Well enough of that.

Dreaming

Fortunately I am still having these Fab Dreams which makes things just a little bit easier waking up with a fond memory or two. Obviously it fades as all Dreams do. Well at least it's there for me to enjoy even if it's Just a short while.

The Girl

The Girl needs a Time for me. Really needs it like a hole in The Head. I think it's still going to be a long while before it's going to happen. I am just dreaming out a loud. Which a Girl has to do or has every right to do. Ok I am being a little dramatic but seriously. I am a Night Owl and need to be let out once awhile otherwise I begin to wilt. lol Sorry I can't help Myself

Cell Block Tango

Just watching a rendition done by a Drag Queen doing Lip Sync. Something about Cabaret oh Chum come to the Cabaret. So the Drag fixation cum Cabaret continues. Lol

Drag

Back to The Drag

So I just Love Drag Queens hence the need to come back as one after I have done the Female thing. More Importantly I love the whole package that is the Music the Make up the Lifestyle etc, etc. I know it's a hard life but I would think a very rewarding one. Well that's if your recognized. Otherwise I sure it can be quite awful. Well everything always comes down to the Money. Does it not. Fact.

Drag

So in my Next life I will come back as a woman and the life after that a Famous Drag Queen. As if we have the ability to choose what happens to us. Some say that you do. That just before your born the Life you choose is given to you. I think they say something about learning lessons. Well that's some people. The other thing is that we don't remember the deal so for all we know it never happened. So once again that is some people.  I personally believe in Rebirth just a slight difference to Reincarnation. Well lets no get into that.

Dreaming

I had some really interesting Dreams this morning nothing to do with being Trans. Just some cool dreams. I love it when your Dreams leave you with a good feeling. Almost like they are entertaining you. Who knows about all this stuff. I personally think that their are certain things in dreams that are drawn directly from your Day and interpreted by your brain but there is some stuff that is. Where that comes from I have no Ideas and I am not going to venture a guess either.

Naughty Again

So yes I am not going to go to Gym today. I am conning myself into believing that I will go tomorrow instead  Well lets see if that works out. I just did not have the motivation to do it today and  I am not a Gym Bunny. So I won't get all depressed just because I did not go to Gym. I am already Depressed but for other reasons. So there's that.

Whiteboard

All in All

I am still feeling bummed. Maybe not as much as the other day but still it's there. Well let me put in a different way I am depressed. I remember watching this T Girl doing her Vlog about Shaving. I think I have mentioned it already. For me it was a moment of disassociation of Myself as I am presented at this moment in time. It was quite voyeuristic. Still it helped me some what to watch for it gave me a little bit of relief. I don't know if this is making sense at all. Well it helped me to identify as her as opposed to me. Just one of those existential moments.

Life

So I am watching someone draw their life on a whiteboard and comment on various stages in their life. It seems to quite popular at the moment. There are certain things that You can identify with. Well I suppose it is common themes for all of us. But put this way is a lot more personal. I don't know if it's the whole whiteboard thing that makes it seem more personal. Well it is certainly a breath of fresh air. Well that would be all the creative T Girls that are out there including Myself.

Therapy

So today I had a Therapy session. It was toughest one yet. Unfortunately we can't pick up where we left off next week since My Therapist is on leave. So that's going to have to wait two weeks. Yes another two weeks thing. Quite strange if you ask me. I don't know if you find it strange. Well I do.

Tuesday

Yes so today is Tuesday. So can you believe its been two weeks since I took My Thumb ring off. I do have it on at the moment. I have to report that My Life has not changed in any way whatsoever. I have not won the Lotto or any thing like that. Damn. Well so much for what that woman said. You can't say I did not give a bash. It's not like I expected anything to happen. So My hopes aren't dashed or anything.

Holiday

This is Wierd

I suppose this is the follow up from the last post. Well they do flow into each other. Have you ever wanted to a Break from yourself? Well that's how I feel at the moment  I need a long Holiday from Myself. Somewhere I can just rest and not have to worry about all the little things. As well as the big things which only makes sense. But you don't go on Holiday as yourself.

Just a Bit

So I am a bit bummed at the moment and have been for one or two days. I am not really sure why. I have a few ideas. Well at least I am going to see My Therapist tomorrow so I can bring it up then. I have been told that I wont see my Therapist next week apparently the Therapist is taking Leave for that week. which is a bit of a bummer but there is nothing I can do it. Then again My Therapist also deserves to take some time off. Still all of this does not make it any better for me.

Waxing

So I was watching this other vlog where this T Girl was talking about Shaving etc. Well She said that she had tried this NO NO product and it was like I will never use it again. I too have heard about this product but have never known someone who has tried it. Well if her testimony is anything to go by. Say No to the No No. LOl.  Stick to the tried and tested measures, shaving, waxing etc

Gender

So I was watching these Vlogs where these Androgynous guys were talking about gender and the role it plays in society. Not that its wrong to do so. But for us it becomes a rather mute subject. Since we are living with the results of how its viewed in Society in General.Well we can bitch and moan as much as we want it really is not going to make a difference in the long run.

Sorry

So I ended up staying at home and now have my jacket on. Which helps a lot. It wasn't really much better outside. So we will have to make the most of staying home.

Freezing

I am chilly. I've got a long sleeve shirt on and I am still chilly. I will have to put a jacket on. Now that I have said this I am sure you feel a lot closer to me. Might go the Mall today, still deciding whether to go or not. You probably find that the Mall is warmer than were I am at the moment. Lol. Maybe getting back into bed sounds like a good idea.

Rain

Enough

At least there are some Vlogs. I can watch today Unlike the other day when there was absolutely nothing. I suppose you can't always have enough everyday to watch even though I do subscribe to quite a lot of channels. Well I try my Best to only watch Vlogs that are worthwhile.

Shaving

I think that shaving really sucks. For me I can't stand shaving. I am still yet to find out what its like to use an epilator. I really wonder if its really sore. Is it like when you tweeze or is it more like ripping the hair out . Can you imagine using it where you have a whole lot of hair or on your face. I actually don't even want to think about. For me it sounds like a lot of pain

Bed

Best thing to do on days like this is snuggle up in your bed with something hot to drink either listen to music watch a movie or read a book. Depending what your in the mood for. Only thing you might be in danger of not wanting to get up at all. Except for absolute musts.

Not Much

So It has been raining quite a bit today. And I mean a lot. So I decided to stay at home as opposed to going to The Malls. Beside it is cold as well. The rain is not quite in the right season. But the weather in general has been up to maggots. And the seasons don't really work as well as they used to. Right.

Trans March

Time Line

Ok So I found two Vlogs which really were timelines in the progression of becoming a full time female. Just hormones and full time, No Srs or bottom surgery. I am subscribed to the one under a collective but not as an individual. Well the Vlogs make quite Sad (Sad with a capital S) for obvious reasons.

Me Times

Well this month is almost over. Really and I did have any this Month. I am however hoping that next month will bring another one at least. I hope. I do know that there are supposed to be some coming up in the next three months but those are not confirmed. So here's hoping

Vlogs

For some reason my Vlogs that I have been watching and still do. Seem to be lacking. There just is not that many at the moment. Which is quite sad. Since I always look forward to them. The ones I do get are boring to say the least. I was just watching one and to close it down since it was extra boring.

Bad Girl

So I wimped out today and did not go to gym at all. Well not going to gym and at all is kinda redundant. Duh. For a Small part of me could have gone to Gym. Nah. Playing with words now. Sorry just having a bit of Fun.

The Reality Dysfunction by Peter F.Hamilton

Book

So I am almost finished with my first book in the Trilogy that I mentioned before written by Peter F.Hamilton. Well I have a few more pages before I do finish it but so far it's awesome. I always regret when coming to the end of a book but at least here the story continues for two more books. His books are quite thick so there is lots to read.

Gym

So I should have reported this yesterday but I forgot. So I was there doing my thing at the Gym and this super tall women walked in . Which was worse is that she was wearing high heels which made her even that more taller. duh. Anyway at one stage she was standing sideways to me so that I could see her profile and that's when I says to myself that's what i would like to look like in my next lifetime. Lol.

I Did

Sop I managed to do my running around As well. Which really did not take me that long. I was surprised. There were hardly ant queues. It was so strange I was expecting to stand around for hours waiting. So that was a cool present

Blood Take My Blood

So yeah I was wenting to the Doctor and got my blood taken. The Doc said it will take a couple of days to get the results. The Doc said if all is Ok then I will get a text message to that effect. If not then the Doc will call me. I don't foresee any problems. Lets keep our fingers crossed as well as our toes just for extra messure Lol I am so funny. Not.

Injection

For Tomorrow

Tomorrow I will be going to another Doctor to have some blood taken. So they can have tests done for My Liver etc.  We wanna see if my body is handling the Meds alright. So there's that. I also have to do a few things as well which are in the same area. So there's that. So tomorrow I will be a bit busy running around.

Gym

Getting ready to go and punish the body for about 40 minutes. Which always feels like an eternity. Well what can you do. It has to be done if Iwant to get this body into anything that resembles shape. Just remember that I don't want to look all muscular. I just want to look like a normal person. Lol. Well each person gets to define that in different ways.

Shaving

Somebody

There is really a need for some Genius to come up with something that will take care of body hair once and for all. So you don't have to go through all the pain over and over again. You see there's that over and over again thing again.

Tough

So Yeah I saw My Therapist today. The session was pretty tough since My Therapist pointed out a few things That I had not thought about. It's kinda tough when your exposed like that. So I have a few things to consider before My next Therapy session. Then again I might come up with something new. Isn't it fun running around and around the same thing just in different variations. It's quite telling that when you realize that they are all linked and sometimes one description covers all of them. I know I am being a bit vague here. Just that, that's as much as I am willing to share.

Why

I have been watching some Vlogs today and for some reason i am bored of them. Maybe it's just one of those days or they just aren't saying anything new. I feel like that sometimes. That is I am just saying the same thing over and over again. It does feel like that sometimes. Which is probably true.

One Week

As I said yesterday. Today is one week since I took My Thumb Ring off. So I don't have anything to report. Why ,because nothing has happened. I wish I could report something like I won the Lotto or something like that.

Foam Bath

Tomorrow

Well tomorrow will be a week since I took off My Thumb Ring and so far nothing has happened to change My Life. The there is one more week and I will put it back on. You will have to have read the original Thumb ring posting to know whats going on. Lol.

Daunting

I was watching a Vlog of a T Girl going through the early stages of getting the Transition thing together. You know like clothes and wigs and etc. Going out in Make Up etc. The one thing that is always missing is a fellow T Girl to guide her. Most have Girlfriends which can help to a certain degree. I just think that will be certain things that they won't be aware of. I suppose we all have to go through the early stages. Trying to find ourselves. Which is quite daunting. Well I have never started even though I do have some stuff which does not really amount up to much. Here I am just rambling on and on. So I really thinks it's daunting to start not that I have ever started.

So Proud

I was not a lazy so and so today. I went to Gym believe or not. It wasn't bad considering I only went Once last week. So I was expecting it to be rather tough today. So I stuck it out and lets hope this week is better than the last. Because I really don't have any control over Myself. Funny Lol.

Hair

Yep

It's interesting to see the answers to the 7 questions that have been posed by www.wehappytrans.com. If you haven't heard of them look them up. There are quite a few people that have answered. Even some well known Trans people.

Just

I just saw the cutest fluffy soft toy cat on pinterest. No I don't have any pets and for the moment don't want any. Sorry.

Why

It  always amazes me. Why do we always want what we can't have. Last night I was watching a Movie and in the movie there was this woman with really long Auburn hair. it was wavy but not too wavy and I was like I wish I had hair like that. We are not happy with what we have but would rather have what we don't have, Go figure. I forgot to mention that it was really thick as well. That is probably the more important part.

Tattoo

Still

I am still holding off on getting My Tattoo done. No I am not scared of being Tattoo. In fact I like being Tattooed  Which is unusual for most people think it's sore. It's more the fact that it's on my mind quite often There is nothing like having a Tattoo that's not finished. its like wearing shoes that are either to big or too small for you. It's just a pain in the arse. Ok the shoe thing is not a good example. Lol. But you get my meaning. At least I think you do.

Today

Well I have to say that today is one of those Lazy Days which I seem to be having a lot of late. Ran around at a mall. For needed to get presents for someone. Wish it was me .Lol. Well at least that's done. No I did not buy the presents. Remember I'm poor. Yes that's right.

Reporting

So it's been 4 days since I took my thumb ring off. And nothing extraordinary has happened to me. Nothing out of the blue. I haven't won the Lotto or anything like that.

ELO

Music

I really need to get some new Music. Maybe My Fairy God Mother will provide me with some. Either that or I will have to wait for some cash. Still haven't got the pocket money thing going yet. It hurts to be poor. Lol. Listening to ELO's Mr. Blue Sky at the moment. Very upbeat tune. Very old band. ( Electric Light Orchestra). Love their music before thy went the Rock n' Roll way. Very unique.

Rain

It's raining at the moment. Now if you really know me you will know that I love the rain. Not to be running around in but to be all snug and to hear the sound of the rain.  For me it's very soothing. I can't suppose that every one has something that soothes them Rain just happens to be one of the things that does it for me.

Sex Workers

I knew that this would get your attention. That's why I did it. Lol. No seriously I did. Lol. Anyway I am not sure if I have brought this up before. Maybe mentioned it passing. Damn I have done so many postings it's hard to keep up with what I have done and haven't done. Anyway what brought this up was I found a new Vlog today and I was going through the Persons Vlog and I saw a link to a Blog it turns ou that she is a web cam Model. Well for those that don't know that's a person that entertains people sexually via a webcam. Which I have to say that it's a lot safer this way for the sex worker. No Aids, no having to worry whether the guy is going to mistreat you. etc etc. Well a lot of T Girls resort to this form of making money purely because it's hard to find a job as a Transsexual. Maybe in the more enlightened parts of the world its not such a big deal. But those are far and few between. I suppose that the reasons aren't always the same for doing it. I can't suppose here for I have never had any form of communication with anyone that is doing or has done it. For whatever reason they do do it I fully support them whether it be web cam model, porn etc. We are a family after all and we need to support each other.

Lips

Run Out

Well I have officially run out of Drag Queens to post. lol. What really gets me is that I still can not post from You Tube. It seems it's something I am going to live with. I did however send a message. Not to say it got anywhere. I cant imagine how many messages they get. Scream.

No I Did Not

I hate to report that I did not go to Gym today. So the Days of the Lazy Pig continues. Lol. I am not going to try justify it with any excuse what so ever. Snicker Snicker.

It Came Back to Me

I do remember what I wanted to post yesterday. The thing that slipped my Mind. Well here goes hold onto your seat. Lol. No its not that earth shattering. I came to realization that people that are Trans are a lot deeper and more experienced than the average person. How can I say this. Well if you have a person that views the world though whatever they were assigned at birth. Lives that until whatever age when they Come out. So they have those experiences up until that age as whatever was assigned them. Then they go through a Second Puberty because of the HRT. Then they get to experience life through a different view point. This putting it Plainly but believe me there is a whole lot more to it than this short description  So bearing all of this mind. The Individual is a whole lot more experienced than the normal person  I have always maintained that Trans People are different from the Ordinary Person. Then to top it off there are those that have transitioned and want to go Stealth and there are those that are happy being recognized as being Trans. That dont go through the whole SRS thing. This is now another experience. Just as much as going Stealth. So these are additional experiences. So to top it all off this is wealth of experiences having live on both sides of the Gender Spectrum as well as all that goes with that. Wow that wasn't that hard even though there is a whole lot I left out. I could have written a  book describing each part of Transition before and after. Specifically referring to Emotions. Then they Finally get to come home. To what they were supposed to be from the start.

Raven

Thumb Ring.

Well when I stopped to get my Necklace yesterday. This woman that sold me the necklace, Rocking to Placebo "Black Market Music" at the moment. The cd) So any way she said I must take off My Thumb Ring for two weeks. To see if something would be different in my life. She reckons that its blocking My Energy. So just for the hell of it I have taken it off. Lets see if there is anything to it. lol. I am hoping that I will win the Lotto. Lol.

There is Something.

 I know that there is something I wanted to post about. But it ha literally escaped my mind. I will however say that last night I had. Actually make that this morning I had a really good dream. It was one of those that you don't want to wake up from. Yet it always seems that when my Dreams are getting to a good point I wake up. Which really sucks. At least I remember most of it which in of itself does not normally  happen.

Lazy Day

So I should have gone to Gym today. but I decided to not go. So yes to day is a Bit of a Lazy day. I thinking of going to morrow. Because I really need to go. Hopefully tomorrow does not end up being a bust. I think am ending in a rut at the moment. So I must break it before it becomes too much of  habit. Yep don't want to end up all Blah. Lol

Pandora Boxx

Necklace

On the way back I stopped at a store to get a necklace to replace the velvet one that I have since it fell apart. I got a black leather one. Lets see if this one holds up at least better than the velvet one. Even though I loved the velvet one. So there's that.

So I Return

Once again I return. This session today was an unexpected one. Not that I didn't know it was going to happen. But the route it took was unexpected. Interesting but unexpected. No I will not share. Lol. I really wish could post You Tube Clips. For now I would post Placebo's "Days Before You Came".

On my Horse

So I am getting ready to travel to go see My Therapist. Fortunately I remember where we left off last time and we can pick it up from there. Not that we don't have enough things to talk about. I am kinda drained at the moment. and have been for awhile. it's tough going through things over and over. Yes we have made progress. In my life as general I too am drained of Energy . As I said before it has been like this for awhile. I don't if it is been reflected in My Posts. Well it really does not matter since I have stated it now. I could honestly just crawl into a ball, on my bed and go to sleep. Maybe I am depressed more so than usual. Which is always surprising to me since I am on Anti Depressants. I know there are two types of depression. The one is chemical the other is situational. So the one has been taken care of that's the chemical and a ll that is left is the situational. Well it really goes without saying.

Run Out

So I think I am going to run out in regards to posting pics of Drag Queens. Lol Since there are not too many more that I like. Well that is of those that I know about. I will have find something else to Post. I am doing this because I am no longer able to Post from You Tube which I love a lot. So I am trying to at least make My Blog look a little colorful. its better than not doing anything at all.

Hedda Lettuce

Fake

So I bought this this necklace awhile a go which I thought was leather. Time went by and some of the black came off and I was hey whats this all about. it turns out that the necklace is Plastic on the inside and has fur stuck onto it on the outside, Damn these people cant you even get a piece of Real Leather without having to worry about whether its fake or not.

Courtney Act

Courtney Act is from Australia and certainly is a really good looking Drag Queen . Certainly not full of her self.

I Have No Idea

So I went to gym as usual today. The first thing I do before I exercise is go and weigh myself. Well did I get a fright for it said that I have gained. How that is possible I have no Idea. So I am a bit bummed. Not really Lol. I am just bit confused. So i will continue my Regimen. And see what happens. Well really thats all I can do, Right.

Courtney Act

Expression

This had to follow it's only natural that it would take me down this road. Expression of ones self is so vital in receiving affirmation of there real you. So if the real you is suppressed and you aren't able to express yourself the Affirmation you receive is not of you. It's an affirmation of the suppressed form of you. Which we all know is not you at all. This is why its so hard to find friends that can accept the real you. For what is the point if your pretending to be something your not just to hold onto the relationship. This is all so obvious it makes me sick. I really wish for a world we can all be ourselves without all the Shite that goes with being in the World we do live in. You know what I mean well  I hope so. Screammm.

I'm Not Sure

I don't want to be naughty so this is going to sound or read just a little bit weird  Being in the mall today. I saw someone and I was not sure what I was seeing. I could not make up my mind as to what I was seeing. Which is a pity since we all want to be perceived in a specific way and when there is doubt then it means peoples perception is going to be mixed. I suppose that you can have variants in opinion  But it is obviously mixed then it will cause mixed reactions. This is round about the time your saying what the ......... is she talking about. Simply put don't put out mixed signals for then you can't be shocked when you get different reactions. As I said I did not want to be naughty and this is the closet I could come too in describing the situation.

Jinkx Monsoon

I really love Jinkx Monsoon as a Drag Queen. There are others but Jinkx is one of very Favorites  She is appearing on the Season 5 of  Ru Pauls Drag Race. Not that is the reason why I like her. She is super Talented as well as being a really nice person. Altogether I love her.

Jinkx Monsoon

I'm Waiting

I am Waiting for My Copies of Ru Pauls Drag Race. I am being patient about it. But I really want to see the different Seasons. For I know its Season Five at the moment. At least once I get them I will be able to watch them at My Leisure.

I Did

I went to a very far away Mall further than the normal far away Malls. Which I suppose was a good thing for I got two tops. Cool. Well at least I Fink so. Lol. No I did not pay full price, I got them because they were a ridiculous Sale. Where I got two tops for less that what you would get one top for. So I scored. Which makes a Girl very happy. Nothing like a ridiculous Sale. I love it when you can get a lot for so little. Which I prefer to buying something for the normal price. For the Chain Stores are a rip. I mean it. Sometimes I can get two pairs of Pants for the price of one you would get in the Chain store. I can also get three T Shirts for the same price as you would One in the store. And they are good quality.

Sharon Needles

Money

So I am trying to get pocket Money. This way at least I will know how much I get in a month. Much better than being handed cash once in a blue moon. I am trying my utmost. It's more to come up with a logical argument. Not that hard you say. Well it is if your asking for certain amount of money. Teee Heee Heee. There is sense in my thought. I don't just do things randomly. So wish me Luck with this one. Lol. This way at least I can go well I need this much money for this or that and it will take me this long to get it.

Me Time

So I found out that maybe it will only be in June That I get some me Time. Which sucks. I was hoping for some in April and May. Well I'm sure things can always change. I really can't see myself going two Months without sometime for Myself.

Stretch

So Gym wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be today. I think that I am not progressing as I ought to.Well I suppose as long as I am going to Gym it's fine. Well that's what I think. I could be wrong.

Are You Kidding

This week has flown before you know it it's weekend already. Didn't we just have a weekend. Lol. No seriously this week flew. I feel like I am just waking up on Monday and it's already Friday.

Lol

Gym

I had to decide whether to go to Gym either today or tomorrow. Which ended up being tomorrow. I just really did not feel like going today. I think I am becoming just a bit lazy in regards to the whole Gym thing. I just hope its faze I am going through and not an overall thing. Because I really need to continue getting into shape. No I am not there yet. I think it will still take awhile before I am happy. Lol. Its too funny . No really its just a Merry Go Round. Trying to get off all the weight you keep putting on from eating Pizza and cakes etc. I have to say I really do like my Food. No not that much. I certainly don't pig out. Lol. No your really bad.

Dunce

I had to phone my Therapist to find out what time we are having our next Session next week. I just completely spaced out and could not begin to remember what time it is going to be. Fortunately I was able to get hold of My Therapist. Which in of itself is a freaking miracle. Which if you know anything about Therapists is a complete fluke that I caught ........... !

Trans Dream

So yes I had this really awesome Trans Dream this morning. The feature was not me But A "Friend " that I have in the dream that happens to be a T Girl. So there really was not much to the dream but the feeling that I had a really good friend that happened to be Trans. The difference here was that she was real and not a internet friend. If you know what I mean. All in all it was a very cool dream to have. I know it never does translate that well when you try to explain it. You really should have had the dream yourself.

Elvgren Pin Up

Vlog

So I was watching this Vlog where this T Girl is showing all the stuff she bought. They call it a Haul, Which supposedly means a lot of stuff. It just amazes me how each person considers the stuff they bought as being a Haul. The products vary so much its Interesting to see. Its almost the same thing as When a woman is showing off their baby and reckon its the cutest thing in the world. its not much different with the various T Girls.
Ok I am being naughty here. I'm glad to see them being excited. It's just interests me to see what excites People. Thank goodness we are all different. Otherwise this world would really be boring.

Passing

I was watching a Vlog and the T Girl started getting into the whole passing thing. It is too convoluted to get into. But the one thing I had an issue with is this, (Its not like I'm on You Tube, so I Cant respond directly as I would like to) Anyway she said that there are those who want Plastic Surgery because they are depressed. Next she said that there are ugly Cisgendered women and they do with what they have so the same should count for T Girls. Anyway the two kinda go hand in hand. I will say that if some one had access to cash and could get some Plastic Surgery to improve the way they look. I cant imagine them passing up on the opportunity. Well there might be some.
The thing that bothered me was that this specific T Girl is good looking. So its ok for her to talk about not getting Surgery. She already is pretty and can do with the way she looks. She cant speak for all those T Girls that are Ugly and don't pass. I wish that people would think before they jump off into the deep end.

Heavy

So yes I went to Therapy today. It was particularly heavy today. Picked up where we left off the previous Session. Have to have an ordinary Session. These are just turning into heavy marathon Sessions. Well its good that why we have Sessions with Therapists.(Psychologists) There is a huge difference between Ordinary Therapist whoa wanna be Psychologists and Psychologists. Mine is a Psychologist. So no pretending there.

Yet Another

I just got done watching another Male to Female Transition story in slide show format. I always love the music that the respective people choose. It always seem so apt for some reason. Anyway I don't even know how many I have watched up until now. But it seems a lot.What is more important is that to be continuously thinking about Transition can become quite a drain. In fact it does drain your energy. Instead of just living Life your mind dwells on one subject all the time. So I have decide to not think About it as much and just try live life as best as I can. Does this make me any less Trans. No its just I don't have to think about the process all the time. For after all I am stuck in the Closet.

Tomorrow

No I did not go to Therapy today. It was moved to tomorrow. My Therapist wanted to take the day off. So I will be seeing my Therapist tomorrow. So need to worry.

Super Tall

So I say to you. Lol. I was at gym today and I have to say I was struggling quite a bit. Since I only went to gym once last week and plus the weekend thing was in between. You know food and all that. So I was on Ye Olde Bicycle. When I spotted this super tall blonde female and was she super tall. The kinda Girl that when she walks into a room people cant help themselves but look. Anyway I put a request in that in my next life I want to look like that.

Hair

Super Huge

Not to far way from me they are building a Super Huge Mall. Which supposed to be finished By the end of this year. Well that if I have got My information correctly. So at least I will have something to look forward to. Hopefully they will have decent stores. And not the chain stores that you have in all the other Malls. Otherwise it just is another mall like some of the rest. There are only a few malls that stand out as being a bit different than the rest. These are the ones to go to. Well I suppose for us its more the Therapy part of going shopping or even window shopping that makes these trips worthwhile. Well that's how I view them. I do believe that I am correct in my assumption.

Strange

I have been having these really strange dreams lately. I cant really say what they have been. I just know they were strange from the feeling I got from them. Which in of itself is Strange. I don't know how much normal people like their beds. But I love my bed with a capital L. Especially if its raining. I just love being tucked in and listening to the Rain. Especially when its that rain which seem to go on forever. The I fall asleep which normally is quite a good sleep. So I Love My Bed. How unusual.

Weekend

Well it seems that most people took a break for the weekend. I was watching My Vlogs. Which would be a lot more than there is today. It seems like a lot of people have taken off on the weekend. Not that I blame them. Maybe this week they will make up for it. Yeah like there sole reason for living is to make Vlogs so that they can entertain people like. Lol